Flatizza Vs. Waffle Taco: A Fast-Food Smackdown For The Ages

Fast-food outlets are often criticized by the discount burgeratti for overstating the innovation of their "new" offerings, and for good reason. Every chain has been guilty of twisting an existing menu item two degrees toward novelty by using the same few tired tricks. Maybe they flop another protein patty onto a thing… » 4/17/14 3:01pm Today 3:01pm

I love these overzealous rec league captain stories (though I agree w/ the consensus that this guy probably has something resembling a valid point buried within his pussy-crushin' rulebook). I don't think the well will ever run dry, because rec captains are such perfectly useful idiots: my bar's dart team is always in… » 4/17/14 8:00am Today 8:00am

Spring Beers, Ranked

Good news: No matter how you do your seasonal accounting, it's definitely spring now. You're already kinda bored with baseball, you've got mud in previously undiscovered orifices, and your favorite fair-weather hot dog stand will come and go before Dick Vitale screams at you again. Furthermore, I solemnly swear not to… » 4/14/14 12:25pm Monday 12:25pm

Can he bunt? I'm waiting for someone to be fast enough and dedicated enough (i.e., hopeless enough w/ the bat otherwise) to try to defy conventional bunting wisdom. I don't know if there's room for overlap between "not good enough to bother with a full swing" and "viable major leaguer" but it'd be neat to watch someone… » 4/08/14 10:36am 4/08/14 10:36am

Don't Watch Sports At Sports Bars

With the NCAA tournament winding down and football season still a long ways off, we're finally transitioning out of peak sports-bar season. Kentucky and Connecticut are going to win Saturday, and then Kentucky and the rest of us are going to win Monday, because every sporting drinker's life is improved when he or she… » 4/04/14 2:08pm 4/04/14 2:08pm

Irish Beers, Ranked

St. Patrick's Day is tough on a civic-minded, humanist boozebag. I love New Year's Eve and Thanksgiving Morning and Arbor Weekend and all the other "amateur hours" that too many self-proclaimed sophisticates haughtily dismiss, but Paddy's Day comes soaked with complications beyond the rivers of glitter and puke that flow … » 3/14/14 3:00pm 3/14/14 3:00pm

Please Stop Glorifying Crummy Dive Bars

I live in Massachusetts, which is a proud but anxious state with liberal policies regarding who can get married or call his roast beef famous and very conservative rules concerning most other types of personal behavior. For example, it's a lot harder than you'd think to get a drink around here. » 3/07/14 3:00pm 3/07/14 3:00pm

24 Light Beers, Ranked

Raise your hand if you're even fatter now than you were on New Year's Day. No, your other hand, the one that isn't strangling a donut. Oh, I see. Well, do you have a third hand? Never mind, the tear tracks carved through your powdered-sugar beard are affirmation enough. » 2/28/14 2:37pm 2/28/14 2:37pm

Russian Beers, Ranked

When we think of Russian drinking customs, we like to envision steely-eyed, furry-hatted folk guzzling vodka with silent partners, grim determination, and maybe a pickle. That image has a certain nihilistic charm. It's less romantic to acknowledge that too many of these sad bastards wind up taking fatal snowbank naps… » 2/21/14 5:00pm 2/21/14 5:00pm

13 Drinks To Get You Through The Worst Month Of The Year

Did any of you wasters (pretend to) go alcohol-free in January? I know Jolie did, and I considered joining her, because I'm a big proponent of limiting your gross booze intake any way you can. Obviously year-round moderation is the best way to do it, but many of us just aren't wired that way, nor do we wish to be. I… » 1/31/14 2:30pm 1/31/14 2:30pm